I have decided to write about the World Cup for this weeks blog. And when talking FOOOOTball, who better to write or talk about than that lovable piece-of-shit Diego Maradona. Yes, THAT Diego Maradona. The "Hand of God" Maradona. The "cocaine and whiskey soaked" socialist asshole Maradona. And yes, he is back to his old tricks again in South Africa, this time as the coach of Argentina. Only one week into the tournament and he has already vowed to run naked through the streets if they win the cup....OH, and he has also already run over a reporter with his car. Let's go back a bit. As many people already know... Diego was, at one time, the greatest player in the world. He was an international junior star, a world cup winner, and one of the first millionaire players. With that being said, not everyone knows about what a historic piece of shit he was and is. He was a cheater, a criminal, a coke-head, and an unapologetic socialist tyrant. Those who are even the most casual of soccer fans like myself, know Maradona for the "Hand of God". This "Hand of God" occured in the 1986 World Cup match against England. The match was emotional for both sides because of the earlier Faulkland Islands War between the two countries just a few years before. The "War", if thats what you want to call it saw the British stomp the ever-living shit out of a much inferior Argentine military. It was more of a conflict that saw Argentina flex it's girly muscles just long enough for the Brits to throw some lead, laugh, and threaten to call in Ghurkah regiments to finish the job. As predicted, Argentina folded and cried all the way home to do what they do best....tango and play soccer. Well you see... what happened was...in the heat of the match, Maradona broke free from defenders, slipped into the box, and PUNCHED the ball into the net. That is what they call a HAND BALL. And yes, it is illegal in soccer. The worst part, other than not being called, was the fact that he later admitted to doing it on purpose. It was the only way to get the ball into the net...by cheating. Soccer is not the only thing he cheats in. It was also recently reported that he still owes over 37 million euros in back taxes in Italy. Should we give the guy a break? He did own up about the goal against England and he did repay 42,000 and a couple of watches for the back taxes. I say hell no. Let's see...Should we talk about his legendary cocaine abuse and affinitiy for prostitues? Sure we can. Next to maybe Waylon Jennings and Pablo Escobar, Maradona was probably the biggest coke-head on the planet. He finally tried to turn that side of his life as well...only to go to rehab in Cuba and be photographed snorting rails with a whore while in the facility. Also, while in Cuba he became best buds with Fidel himself. He now sports tatoos of Castro and uber-fuck Che Guevara. Over the last few years he has cozied up to Hugo Chavez as well. He went on-air with Chavez in Venezuela cursing The United States saying... "I hate everything that comes from the United States. I hate it with all my strength." Well, the man is entitled to his opinion but that still doesn't make up for the fact that he is still an uneducated loser fuck. So...I guess what it all comes down to...it will all be played out this summer in South Africa...on his stage...The World Cup. And my bet is that win or lose, there will be Diego Maradona, with a zulu hooker...naked and honking up three foot rails of whiff with a vuvuzela...crying and wanting the world to give him another chance.
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