2ND ANNUAL COLLEGE FOOTBALL-Extravaganza,Big bonanza, stick-it-in-your-BIG FAT CANZA

It is that time of year again. YESSS ZIRRR. Let's talk about college football..shall we? Okay. I have to say that I did a fairly good job in my predictions last year, but this year I am going to go into a little more depth. This offseason has been crazy and a lot of what happened was predicted by myself and my friend Scott Wheetley. We discussed at length the possiblities that Auburn, Oregon, and Ohio State would eventually go down at the hands of the media and bloggers. Last season, the SEC showed it's dominance once again,and my team, Arkansas fell into the BCS. I was really glad for teams like TCU. They not only proved they could hang with the big boys, they kicked their asses. I was proud of Arkansas, although they still can't get over the hump and win the big games. The Razorbacks had fourth quarter leads against Alabama and Auburn and blew them. In the Auburn game, the refs proved to be retards and gave Auburn touchdown after touchdown. And honestly, I hate people who blame the refs (Arkansas fans are generally pussies with chips on their shoulders who think the refs screw them every game...including the 70 point ass-kicking By USC six years ago)...but the refs did fuck Arkansas in the Auburn game. I am convinced that the SEC wants to have a team in the NC so bad that they rig the officiating if at all possible at certain points throughout the season. Hopefully Arkansas will be on the "giving" side of that sodomy bomb this year. I was also proud of South Carolina. They came through even though they had a cake walk in the SEC east last year. Now that leaves Kentucky, Vandy, and Ole Miss as the only teams to never win a division. Good luck with that you fucking pussies. I actually like Vandy though.
The ACC showed that they are a second class conference once again. With two BCS wins all-time...you guys will never catch up. Assholes. However, Jimbo brought FSU back in a hurry, and they are about to start kicking ass again. The Big East showed once again that they are the worst conference in America. I mean...UConn in a BCS? Are you fucking kidding me? The Sun Belt would beat the fuck out of the Big East on any given Saturday. If UConn was in the Big 12, Big 10, or SEC, they would go 0-8 every year in league play. The Big 10 was the Big...slow...boring-as-fuck-TEN again. "Power Football"...whatever...it fucking sucks to watch and sends me over the edge to lose to those stupid fucking oafs. So fuck you Big 10....just because you have Ohio State. And while I am at it. FUCK YOU TERRELLE PRYOR! You're a fucking whiny bitch. And because I hate the Ohio State so bad, I am now going to become a rabid big 11 fan. I will cheer for anybody who plays the buckeyes from now on. I want to see those cheating bastards fucking burn. (Auburn too for that matter). I will now support Michigan State and Iowa from now on.
Lets move out west. The PAC 10...well, no one cares about the fucking PAC "12" now. The rest of the world is asleep when you fucking idiot hippies play. Finesse football? Get the fuck over yourselves. Wine and cheese at the tailgate? Whaaaaat? And Oregon...Nobody outside of your lousy fucking state thinks that your 25 different uniforms thing is funny. It's annoying. Seriously...Steve Prefontaine would roll over if he saw that terrrible highlighter yellow with gun metal gray, and green, and black, and silver, and what-ever-you-fucking-call-it color that has yet to be named. EAT A DICK OREGON. As far as the rest of the west....uh, Mountain West and WAC? Does anybody even know who is in what conference now?

KINO KOUTURE-"The Town"

Did you know that thayah ah mah bank robbahs dat come from Chastahn, Mass than any atha tahn in da country? Well, Ben Affleck says that is the case. I doubt it though. I'm sure either L.A. county or Orange county kicks it's ass on any given year. This movie stars Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner, John Hamm, and Pete Postlethwaite. Set in Boston, the story follows the shenanigans of a quartet of bank robbahs and an overzealous FBI agent. Historically I fucking hate Ben Affleck. I did however watch a movie a couple of years ago called "Gone Baby Gone". A solid movie that I loved. It gave me a new found respect for him as a filmmaker...but an actor, he is not. Based on my new crush on his filmaking skills, I decided to give "The Town" a try. That, and the fact that my friend Jay Stanley had me sold on it long before I finished my last beer this past Monday. Jay can definitely sell me on certain movies. Mostly because of his enthusiasm towards character development. He could probably even talk me into going to go see fucking "Yentil" again.
Ready? Let's go. Have you ever seen the movie "Heat"? Have you ever seen "Good Will Hunting"? Have you ever seen "Dead Presidents"? Well, It's kinda like a mix of all of those...without Val Kilmer, the retard math wiz, and all of the uppity black kid gangsta's. This movie is entertaining to say the least....BUT, I have seen it all before. It is like watching that dusty old porno you keep in the back of the closet. It is still fun to watch, but for fuck's sake...you've watched that dirty old whore with the bad teeth get boned like 500 times already. Should you go see it? Sure...it is really not that bad. I would explain more about the movie but it is so predictable that I would ruin it for you.
1)STORY- The writing is merely just OK. Co-written by Ben Affleck, it could have been better...he did win an oscar for a screenplay for god's sake. I give it a C+ 2)DIRECTION- Not too bad. The cinematography was pleasant and the locations were pretty damn good. I give it a solid B
3)ACTING- Ben is a horrible fucking actor but this was not too bad. Plus, Jeremy Renner and Pete Postlethwaite were bad-ass. John Hamm sucks! I give it a B
4)BONER POTENTIAL- Rebecca Hall and Blake Lively are both pretty hot...although I had never heard of this Blake chick. The grade would be higher if it were not for the robbahs running around in nun costumes. Nuns take all boners away. I regretfully give it a C+
5)MISC.TIDBITS- Very cool shootout scenes and major bad-ass weapons...If it were not for Jeremy Renner shooting 120,000 rounds and never fucking hitting a cop that he was aiming at, this would get an A+. But that is not the case. Learn how to shoot Asshole! This gets a C+
OVERALL GRADE ....C+

NEW BLOG SERIES FOR 2011

I must apologize for the break I have taken from my blog. I have not been posting since December because of the holidays and the harsh January we have had here in the mid-south. I have been extremely busy and really have not felt that funny or angry. But, as they say, the show must go on. I will be adding two new series on my blog. It will be called "POP-CULTURE PORN". It honestly has nothing to do with pornography...the name porn has been added as a term to show that you want to read it and salivate on the political incorrectness and weirdness of it all. I will give my take on how much I detest pop-culture and give examples of how I believe that MTV has ruined our country. I will also add a movie review blog that is titled "Kino Kouture". I will write movie reviews for all of you to read before you decide to waste your money. They will be graded in five ways...1) STORY "writing", 2)DIRECTION, 3)ACTING, 4)BONER POTENTIAL, 5)MISC. TIDBITS/INTANGIBLES.

Top 10 Most Disgusting Hollywooder's

1. Sean Penn

Yes. Sean Penn is THE MOST DISGUSTING PERSON IN HOLLYWOOD. Hell, he may be the most disgusting person in the world in my opinion. A few people were actually put on this list just to piss YOU off. I selected a couple of these people strictly to make you laugh or maybe even just to make you think. But, Sean Penn is probably the biggest son-of-a-bitch on here. I really don't even feel like educating you on the reasons why he sucks so bad. So what was it that turned him into this foolish dick-monster? Perhaps it was his wealthy upbringing, his unequalled education from Santa Monica High School, or maybe he was raped by a fucking kangaroo. I don't really know or even give a shit. But, what I do know...is that he is the biggest fucking moron I've ever seen. He is the epitome of the Hollywood jackass. ***NOTE TO SEAN*** "you are an ACTOR...not a politician"! Sure, Ronald Reagan was an actor too. But, he went to college where he engaged in politics, played football, etc. Sean Penn has done nothing for this country. In previous posts on this subject, I at least gave credit where credit was due for certain celebrities who do charitable work. And I especially gave credit to those people have done so much for gay and lesbian rights. But I will not give Penn the same credit. And just because he played Harvey Milk in a movie does not mean shit. Saying shit doesn't mean shit if it is coming out of his big damn mouth. The main reason I cannot stand this guy is his penchant for totalitarianism and anti-semitism. His sucking up to Hugo Chavez whilst stomping on the core of his own country is despicable. His ignorant uneducated ass cozies up to murderous dictators and spits on the United States just to try to prove that his ideologies are the only correct ideologies to have. FOOL! His ability for critical thinking is like that of a retarded cow. Like I said...he's an actor. Guess what Sean? Nobody pays you to think or govern or spout public policy. They pay your sorry ass to act...that's it. Nothing else. So the bottom line is this...Sean Penn...You're an asshole. Either act and shut your ugly ass up or fucking kill yourself. You fucking loser!

Top 10 Most Disgusting Hollywooder's

2. Dave Matthews

What? Seriously? Dave Matthews? WTF? Why?????? I'll tell you why. Because it's my fucking list and I can put anyone I want on it that I want. And, to piss all of you off. You're all screaming as you read this. NOOOOOOOOO! Not Dave Matthews!!!! But, "I LOOOOVE HIM"!!!!!...you all say.... Well, Fuck you! I hate Dave Matthews. Why? Because he's a pussy. Where to begin??? Let's see. As I already said...he's a pussy. He is a typical far-left uneducated windbag. He's a draft dodger. A shitty actor. A mediocre musician. And he is an environmentalist hypocrite who shits on the environment more than all of us put together. And I'm not literally talking about the shit that he dumped in the Chicago River. I'm talking about the "save-the-trees" bullshit and the "get-rid-of-cows" bullshit because they fart too fucking much and their enormous carbon footprint trash. It's okay for him to travel 345 days per year by gas-guzzling tour buses and private jets while the rest of us morons pay him millions of dollars to walk and ride our fucking bikes. Yep! Have a nice flight Dave. No! Don't mind me...I'm fucking walking to work today. And, since I mentioned the Chicago thing, he did pay a mere 200 grand for dumping piss and turds all over a boat full of people and killing a few hundred fish. If his shit had landed in my grill...I would be in prison for murder...no doubt. Look...I'll be the first to admit. I once really liked this dickhead. I bought the albums...went to shows...etc. I used to engage in conversations with dumb bitches about things like "You know..Dave is really awesome...when I listen to him he makes me such a better person... I mean, he really speaks to me with his words...his songs are so sexy and full of life and intelligence". Okay! So I am exaggerating a bit...but, you see where this is going. ALL Dave Matthews conversations go this way. And this is just part of what drives me crazy about this fool. The rest is the fact that I know people who actually fucking cry when talking about his shows. They are all obviously mostly women...but really? Is that even fucking necessary? Travelling..and spending thousands of dollars per year...to go to concerts? And fucking cry about it? Well folks. The jury is IN. You're all fucking idiots. I don't know who is worse Dave? Or YOU fucking a-holes.

Top 10 Most Disgusting Hollywooder's

3. Lady Gaga

First things first...Lady Gaga is a Transvestite. And for all you guys who secretly bone up on this fucking retard...your days are numbered. It is only a matter of time before it all comes out. And the sad thing is...if that is what you are into...you can actually find much better looking trannies here in Little Rock. Oh, and...did I say retard? Yes, i did. We all know that one shouldn't make fun of the less fortunate...especially retarded and mentally challenged people. And that is not what I aim to do. But I truly think something is wrong with her. She's retarded. Plus...I seriously want to know....What freakin Donkey Show did they find this tramp? She was either plucked out of some dingy stank-ass backroom show in Tijuana or she/he literally fell out of the sky like those a-holes in the Terminator movies. Since I am not exactly sure what Gaga is...Gaga will be refered to as "SHE" until further notice. At first I really thought that she was a joke. I mean...this has all been done before? Right? I think David Bowie did this...and Madonna already did this whole re-invent yourself every few days kind of thing. Am I wrong? And that was like 25 years ago. I first saw her singing on TV one night...and all I could think of was..."Holy Shit! Is this a live-action band version of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem"??? I really thought that she was supposed to be that chick guitarist that played with Dr. Teeth on the Muppets. But, unfortunately this was not the case. No Dr. Teeth and no Electric Mayhem....just a nasty ole tramp trying destroy the youth of our country. So...I guess that the only thing to do is boycott anything and everything Gaga. Otherwise, in 20 years our country will be gone...overwith...ka-put. Seriously...do it for all of mankind. You owe it, not only to this country, but the entire world.

Top 10 Most Disgusting Hollywooder's

4. Justin Bieber

To be honest with you...I had never heard of this fool till a few weeks ago. And...he probably doesn't deserve to be on this list. The reason being... that he really hasn't accomplished anything or tried to talk politics...yet. (presumably because he's from Canada...and we all know that Canada is nothing but a lame suburb of Minneapolis). He was put on this list because he is just the latest in a long line of teen sensation losers. Hundred bucks says that in ten years he'll be offering up hand-jobs for crack in some dark alley off Venice Beach. Just like the hundreds of teenie boppers before him...he is nothing but the product of uneducated white-trash parents looking for a "Deeeeluxe apartment in the Skyyyyyyhiihii"! My only real problem with him is his exaggerated sense of self worth. Him thinking that every woman in the world is dying over him...What is he like 14? With lyrics telling girls that he knows how to service them and how great of a lover he is. What? Seriously? And his constant throwing of gang signs around. For God's sake! Really? Somebody shoot him already...or better yet ME! My favorite thing about this jack-ass is how his management has been trying to get him to go to North Korea while on his "world tour"...saying that the political/nuclear stalemate between the world and North Korea "might could use a little Bieber". Yeah! That's it! Their people are living off of rice and eating fucking rats and all they need is a little Bieber. No seriously...somebody fucking shoot me!